Getting closer.

Before the fall, modesty didn't exist and childbirth was easy (I imagine that instead of peeing one's pants when sneezing while pregnant, one would, instead, find a fully-formed human infant in her arms).

After the fall, humans became self-conscious while naked and childbirth became difficult (to put it gently).

One of the nearly fail-proof signs of the "transition" stage of labor is a loss of modesty. I find it ironic that two things that only came into being after the fall cancel each other out in this way. Transition is the stage just before pushing the baby out (which, lest you assume this means the situation is nearly over, usually takes about two hours), and at that point, most women don't care who sees them and in what condition. It's like labor is bad enough that God relents and lets up on that little effect of the fall for a while. After reviewing recommended positions for labor and delivery, it's my opinion that babies probably wouldn't make it out of the womb without this lack of self-consciousness (for lack of a better term- you are very, very conscious of your body during labor, oh my gosh). I consider myself a fairly modest person, so imagining getting to this point it disturbing. Fortunately, like I said, you stop caring, and then, glory, glory, glory, your body releases hormones that literally cause a kind of amnesia afterwards. Otherwise, no one would have more than one child.

The end.

A theory.

Reasons people may be nice to pregnant women:

1. They like babies, and babies come from pregnant women.

2. They know being pregnant is about the least fun one can have outside of a concentration camp. (Being pregnant IN a concentration camp would be the ultimate misery possible in this life)

3. Having absolutely no concept of what belly girth aligns with what stage of pregnancy, they're just terrified your water is going to break on their favorite shoes and want to hurry you along. Most people don't realize that water breaks before advanced labor in only about 15% of cases.

4. They recognize that, because everyone is already staring at pregnant women at all times, they're not afraid to draw attention by making a scene calling you out for being a jerk. Seriously, everyone is already staring at you, usually wondering whether your water is going to break on their favorite shoes/they'll get to be a hero and deliver your baby right there and become famous.

5. Recognition that she's crabby enough without adding to her trouble by being anything less than the nicest they've ever been.

Whatever the reason, having people be nice and helpful wherever I go is kind of nice. And it couldn't come at a better time. I am beginning to understand the feelings that lead to being willing and even eager to go through childbirth. Seriously, so uncomfortable all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Even I, who am usually cold, have begun to wish it would cool down a little bit. And Louis may be taking back his recent assertions that I haven't been as crabby as pregnant women are cracked up to be. I'm pretty sure I've taken it to a whole new level of impatience this past week or so. I can barely stand to be in the same room as Colby right now, he's so darned irritating.

Get it out, get it out!

Maybe I blogged about this once before?

I listen to girl power/Lillith Fair music when I bake.

Perhaps it's an unconscious assertion of my feminism, despite my ability to combine flour and liquids in interesting and tasty ways.

Why is it that Regina Spektor is the very best soundtrack for cookie baking? The world may never know.

renamed: TACT: YOU CANNOT HAZ.

Today, I was standing in the copy room at the office, going through the contents of my box while my kiddo worked on his "wait" goal. I love easy to target goals. Anyway, a woman who (I think) works as a counselor there came in and said, quite expressively, "Whoa! I hope I don't get THAT big!"

Optional responses:

Um, thank you?

Why, I feel so petite, whatever could you mean?

Yes, I am enormous, but it'll never happen to you.

Actual response:

"Oh, but I have two months to go and am measuring exactly what I should for this stage. You will get here and MORE."


Because it's not nice to say those sorts of things to pregnant women, even if you are one yourself.

Vaccines

Yesterday, I was sitting in Starbucks (Shout Out!) reading The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears, M.D. (who went to Biola for undergrad-Shout Out!), when an excitable seeming woman about my age approached me.

"Are you thinking about vaccinating your baby?!" She asked, excitedly (you see where I got my description of her?).

"Uhm, uhh, um, yes, sort of. I guess I already have, umm, some ideas about it..." I answered, confidently.

"So you're anti-vaccine!?"

"...No..."

"Oh. So you're pro-vaccine."

"...Um, yes, but conservatively..."

And then she launched into a story about her and a friend who had babies together and then the friend's baby passed away when he was 4 months old right after his shots.

"Oh, she works at Pilgrim's, right?" I asked, actually confidently this time.

"Yes! You know her! Talk to her! Ok, bye!"

When you're pregnant, everyone has advice, and this is not the first vaccine related chat I've had with strangers. There have been worse topics (like the grocery store checker who told me about someone she knew who died in childbirth-WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD POSSIBLY POSSESS SOMEONE TO THINK THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE TOPIC TO BRING UP TO A PREGNANT LADY?!?!), but this is definitely one of the more fiery topics. There is a fairly large anti-vaccine community here, probably similarly to most regions of the country. The lady who works at Pilgrim's is a particularly sad case, and she's kind of the new leader of the movement in the Coeur d'Alene area. I also, as you all know, work with kids who have autism so definitely am up on whole autism-vaccine connection controversy.

Here's the thing, and it sounds kind of harsh in my head, so sorry if it comes out that way here. Babies die of SIDS. A lot of them do. I think for most parents, it's just about the most terrifying prospect of parenthood- your baby dying, despite your doing everything you can to prevent it, for no apparent reason. You can lay your baby on his back, keep loose fabric away from his face, put him in a sleep positioner, and pray like crazy, but one morning, you may find that he just didn't wake up. HORRIFIC. Babies also gets LOTS of shots, so it may happen right after he gets his shots. Now, if your baby gets a terrible fever or cold from those shots (which is common) and isn't breathing as well as usual, and SIDS seems to often occur because of suffocation, it's easy to blame his vaccinations. Also, some babies ARE allergic to vaccines. If your baby is reacting terribly to vaccines, perhaps they're not for you.

All that to say, millions of people are alive today because of vaccines. Polio and smallpox have been (virtually) eradicated thanks to shots. We no longer even vaccinate against smallpox, as it's been eliminated FROM THE PLANET. Diseases we now give babies vaccines against used to kill hundreds and thousands of people a year. If everyone stopped vaccinating, it is completely feasible that this would again become the norm. The reason people who choose not to vaccinate can do so without fear is because of everyone else who vaccinates despite the risk.

And vaccines are risky! There is certainly risk in sticking your child with live or dead versions of terrible diseases and other weird chemicals and substances. There is evidence that certain genetic, physical traits are common in children who have autism, and the exposure to large amounts of these sorts of chemicals can trigger (?) autoimmunity issues that may exacerbate the problem (these are the kiddos who tend to respond positively to the gluten or casein free diet). This is not autism coming out in perfectly healthy kids because of shots; this is a genetic predisposition and a sensitive immune system. I know what autism is like, and while I adore many of the kiddos I've worked with, I would certainly prefer to avoid the struggles that this particularly disorder brings.

But not enough to not immunize my child.

I also have no intention of following the CDC's recommended vaccination schedule. I can't imagine that anyone who's looked into the topic would want to do that. Including combo vaccines, this would have my six month old being injected with no fewer than TEN diseases at one go. The average six month old weighs less than 20 pounds; it is mind-boggling to me that this would be considered ok. Now, I understand that most parents find even the required number of doctor's visits inconvenient, so to spread these out further decreases the likelihood that babies will get all their shots. But, really, the inconvenience of taking your child to numerous therapists' appointments every week because of something preventable is nothing comparably to an extra visit with a nurse once a month.

Dr. Sears developed a revised vaccination schedule that I intend to follow with our baby. There are never more than two shots given at a time and never more than one containing aluminum at a time. Mercury has all but been eliminated from vaccines, so it's not really an issue any more. The schedule we'll be following involves extra doctor's visits where you just see the nurse and the baby just gets shots, but I figure it's more than worth it. If, heaven forbid, something were to go wrong I know I'll be devastated, but I can know that I made an informed decision that eliminated the most foreseeable risk in the long run. When all the numbers are run (and Dr. Sears runs them), the risk of a serious reaction to a preventable disease is greater than the risk of a serious reaction to a vaccine. This is hardly comforting, I know, to parents of babies who have the reaction that ends in death. I'm sure the parents of the babies who die from preventable diseases are likewise devastated, though. And there are plenty of babies with immunity or health issues that make it impossible for them to be vaccinated. I cannot imagine the guilt one would experience if theirs was the un-immunized child that sickened another who didn't even have that option.

So, we'll be vaccinating our baby. I'll soon be talking to pediatricians who our friends use to find the one who's the most on board with this decision, as not all are. Fortunately, there are a LOT of pediatricians. Not that it is even possible to follow the alternative schedule perfectly, as in the two years since publication, Merck has pulled the separate MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) shots (you used to be able to break them up, and as this is one of the most controversial shots with the worst reactions all across the spectrum). Because they're bastard people. Anyway, so we're going to do our best.

There you go.

300th post!

Organic strawberries from the store DO taste better than non-organic strawberries from the store.

Organic strawberries picked this morning and bought at the farmer's market, however, will make you believe in God.

If you're not already so disposed, of course.

Also, freshly shelled peas. Mmmm.

Oh my goodness, how I love farmer's market day. One nice thing I'll say about pregnancy is that, when it's appealing, food tastes better than it ever has before.

30 Weeks.

Today, I am 30 weeks pregnant. Given that pregnancy is, on average, 40 weeks long, I am now SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT (75%) done. That's a lot of pregnancy over and not much left between now and the part where they send me home with a tiny, helpless infant. I am reasonably terrified. I am also rather large. See?



We started our childbirth classes last night, too, which only increases my terror about the impending possession of said helpless infant. We're taking Bradley classes, which we're excited about. Probably not surprisingly if you know us at all, we're continuing our hippie tendencies in this area. We're still planning to deliver at the hospital, but with a (ridiculously fabulous) midwife who uses many naturopathic techniques. We're also hoping to avoid drugs as part of the delivery. I am not as stringently opposed to the idea of medication as Bradley is, but I would prefer to avoid them. Many people declare me crazy when they hear about our plans to go this route, but the thing is, none of those who do did the Bradley Method. The people I know who DID take Bradley classes, and seriously, encourage me to take it seriously. Plenty of people I know who had epidurals still say childbirth was misery, but most of those I know who used alternate methods (and were trained adequately in them) speak positively of the experience, even if things didn't go as planned (needed a Caesarean after all, for example). I think the key is approaching the process not as something injurious and terrible, but rather as a process that our bodies were built for. Rather than thinking about the discomfort of birth as pain, such as you would that of an injury, women should work with their bodies based on an understanding of the process. The key for most of labor is relaxing completely during contractions and breathing normally (no hee hee hee breathing).

Anyway, we're the farthest along in our class, which ends a mere 8 days before our due date. It's a funny mix of people, so class should be a good time. The trainer had two Bradley births, both of which she says were great experiences (and why she got into teaching it). Right now, we have homework. Every day, I'm supposed to do things like sit criss-cross and squat whenever possible and practice relaxing in a particular side position daily. Awesome.

I also realized a few days ago that I'm not really very nervous about the birth process, particularly when compared with my apprehension about RAISING the child. I think the main reason for this is that I feel prepared (or in the process, at least) and like I'll have some control of the process.

The Supreme Court, however, IS essing around.

I know some of you enjoy my periodic rants about things that make me crazy with rage. This is going to be one of those rants, so you who fall into that category can begin rejoicing right about now.

First, read this article from our local paper. Perhaps you'll notice that the title of the article is "Court oks Dumping Gold Mine Waste into Lake."

OH MY GOSH I THINK MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED.

I, along with all other pregnant women and small children, am warned to not consume fish from Lake Coeur d'Alene and most other regional waterways. Why? BECAUSE OF THIS KIND OF NONSENSE. The fish living in said waterways are contaminated with heavy metals, most notably mercury, something that causes BRAIN DAMAGE in even small amounts. And you know what's happening right now? They (I'm not sure precisely who-just the all-powerful "they") are debating about who will pay the millions and millions and millions of dollars it will cost to clean up Lake Coeur d'Alene after years of having mine tailings run and be deliberately dumped into it. One question that keeps arising is whether or not it's even safe to clean it up at this point. People are advised to avoid stirring up the bottom. YES. THAT WORKED OUT SO WONDERFULLY BEFORE. LET'S DO IT AGAIN!

HATRED! DEATH! RAR!

I am not essing around.

Here's what you need to do.

Go to npr and listen to the new Regina Spektor album for FREE, bitches. Like, right this minute.

Proceed immediately to iTunes and purchase said album.

You will not regret it. How could you?

Observations while living at the lake

I have a very strong affection for quail. Cutest. Bird. Ever.

Sometimes, adolescence doesn't go away.

I have more things in common with my dad than I realized.

The sunset looks prettier here.

Wiggly babies are less nice to hold than non-wiggly babies. Still nice, though.

Garage sales are awesome.

Maybe I shouldn't worry so much all the time.

Seriously, adolescence.